Confessions of a Trypophobe

This post may make many of you question a) my sanity and b) why you are friends with me or read my blog. But in all seriousness it is a real thing, and is as absolutely insane and weird as it sounds.

I’m not sure when it started but my earliest memory of it was a rather vivid nightmare I had as a child. I probably was about 12 or 13 years old at the time. In the dream, I had this disease spreading all over my body – it was a rash except it looked exactly like mussel shells were sprouting from my skin all lined up together in a patch on my arm and spreading. The edges were razor sharp and called (appropriately) cutters. I don’t believe there was a cure.Continue reading “Confessions of a Trypophobe”

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Muscle Memories of Bikram Yoga

We are in Pune for the weekend. I discover the studio at lunchtime as we stop for burgers. I excuse myself from the rest of my family and race up the escalators in a shopping centre that probably holds the world record for least amount of actual retail outlets per space occupied. As I clamber up I dial my father’s cell phone and immediately change my order from vegetarian to chicken. If there’s one thing I remember about Bikram yoga, it’s that I do it better with some meat in my belly.

I haven’t done Bikram yoga since moving to Delhi last November. There is no studio there, though one may open next year. I have an amazing yoga teacher who comes to my house, but she is popular, and so I have her for only 65 minutes a week. Although I do try and keep up some small semblance of practice during the week, it’s not the same without the discipline and someone watching for where you’ll (because you really can’t help yourself) cut corners.Continue reading “Muscle Memories of Bikram Yoga”

Key Crime-Solving Tips You Can Only Learn from C.I.D.

Photo courtesy of Forbes India
Photo courtesy of Forbes India

I had the pleasure of watching my first C.I.D. episode today. Although I didn’t make it through the full episode, I allowed myself to be led through a fascinating series of plots twists and turns, each packed with ulterior motives, secret meetings, and gory bodies which are often examined in the most unusual ways.

C.I.D. is the longest running show on Indian Television. It has been criticized for being male “skewed”, and allegedly, most of it’s core audience members are children. I don’t know what that says for the future detectives of India, but we will leave that issue for another day.Continue reading “Key Crime-Solving Tips You Can Only Learn from C.I.D.”

Telemarketing Text Messages

I’ve been in Delhi for almost two months now, and one of the things that fascinates me the most is the barrage of unsolicited marketing text messages I receive almost daily.

I have been offered lucrative “PLOTS” of all kinds in all sorts of places at all types of prices. I get an offer for a full body massage at Moksha Spa almost everyday, and my own cell phone company sends me at least five absolutely unnecessary text messages a week (the latest was about taking my child under five to get polio drops).Continue reading “Telemarketing Text Messages”

New Year’s Eve & My Silly Superstitions

photo-7

I have this crazy superstition that the way I spend New Year’s Eve, dictates how my year will go. It has happened a few times, so it has sort of stuck with me through the years.

On New Year’s Eve 2007, my friend Tandi and I roamed the streets of Manhattan all night, avoiding creepy strangers, bursting into giggles at the slightest provocation, searching for the bar of all bars (as defined by Tandi): Double Happiness.

Continue reading “New Year’s Eve & My Silly Superstitions”

Thoughts on Delhi

1463928_10100158793438825_1232105150_nWalking up the stairs to work today, I smelled that spicy smell of burning wood, which reminded me of the Delhi winters of my childhood. I have been back for a little over a month now (permanently) and I often have moments like this – where the smallest thing feels oddly familiar, an un-spooky déjà vu because the memory if you can call it that is little more than a distant feeling, a long lost friend whose name I cannot quite remember.

Continue reading “Thoughts on Delhi”

A Little Inconvenience

I’ve been in Delhi for about a month now. As I write this, a stray ant crawls across the floor of my bedroom. I barely notice them anymore; they are now a part of my daily existence. Two or three grace my shower every morning. I try not to kill them but there is no way to warn an ant that they are about to be drowned, so I’ve had my share of casualties (sorry).

Speaking of showers, I know we are lucky to have water through my mother’s very persistent pursuit of the water company. We got water just in time to not move out of our house for a few days.

The power will go off between three and five times each day, but this is also okay. The generators are much better than they were when I was a kid and now run air-conditioning. Back then, the outages were longer, and in June when it was 42 degrees Celsius outside, the only thing we could do was lie still because moving just made you hotter. Continue reading “A Little Inconvenience”

Thoughts on Failure

Failure is defined by the Mirriam-Webster dictionary as “omission of occurrence or performance” (specifically a duty or action), “a state of inability to perform a normal function” or “a fracturing or giving way under stress”.

It has a few other definitions involving bankruptcy, deterioration and the very profound “one that has failed”, but I’d like to take a moment to consider the first few meanings. Continue reading “Thoughts on Failure”

Worth Reading

I don’t reblog a lot – but I think this is worth it!

Read the original first here: http://readherenotthere.tumblr.com/post/26566157508/roots-of-gang-crime-absentee-black-fathers-ensure

Endless Parade

Lorrie_Goldstein

Perhaps you’re unfamiliar with Lorrie Goldstein. That’s fine. We’re not here to skewer his career.

Perhaps you’re unfamiliar with gang violence in Canada’s largest city. That’s fine. We’re not here to skewer Toronto.

Perhaps you’re unfamiliar with the specifics of how the Toronto Sun commissions and crafts opinion columns. That’s fine, too. We’re not here to skewer The Sun.

We’re here to talk about this. We’re here to talk about a flaming pile of editorial panda-shit dropped by The Sun, showing a complete lack of education in pre-cursors for societal ills and also exhibiting scathing shreds of racism, sexism, xenophobia, bigotry, self-righteousness.

If you’re unfamiliar with how we do this, we basically ripped this idea off Fire Joe Morgan. So, I’ll be signing my $4 in royalties over to them immediately.

Italics are his words. The rest are mine. Let’s go:

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